We are so grateful to be featuring New York Times #1 bestselling author and relationship “guru” John Gray as our “Man of Influence” amongst an amazing line-up of 30 extraordinary “Women of Influence”. John has supported millions of women to empower their voice, the mission of Women Speakers Association, so it made perfect sense that he would be part of our Speakerpalooza line-up. John’s insight on how the relationship between men and women has evolved with the rise of technology and the information age, is brilliant. More info about John and details on how to receive his special giveaway following his post.
By John Gray
Author, New York Times #1 Best-Selling Book of the last decade, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
Mill Valley, CA USA
When Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus was first published 20 years ago, it was considered the ultimate guidebook for relationships and marriages. However, I find the book more useful in 2012 than it was originally in 1992.
Communication is evolving with new technologies and traditional relationships are being redefined daily but one thing has remained the same: men and women are different.
There’s nothing wrong with being different. It doesn’t mean that one is better than the other. It just means we’re different. Especially when it comes to communicating love.
Communication has changed dramatically in 20 years. The first text between 2 people was in 1993. That same year, only 1% of two-way communication was transmitted over the internet. Now, it is 97%. Technology continues to change how we communicate with our loved ones, but the reasons why we communicate remain the same.
Women are still drawn to community, the sharing and caring for others. Women outnumber men on most social networks. Men still grow in attraction when they pursue and when they are allowed to pursue. The internet allows men and women to view the backgrounds, friends, and hobbies of potential partners. This can help them find out what is important to the other and what makes each happy. Technology can also ruin relationships. What was created to help us better connect can actually cause divisions. Just think how difficult it can be to fully understand your partner during a fight, even when you are looking into the eyes, hearing the voice, and reading the body language of him or her. Now add bandwidth between the two of you. Most conflicts escalate when you attempt to resolve them through public tweets, cryptic texts and lengthy emails.
Technology can also cause a divide in the bedroom. As phones and tablets make their way into the bed, many partners find themselves spending more time on their devices than on each other. The bedroom should be considered sacred space in a relationship. Turn off the phone and turn on your partner.
John Gray, Ph.D. is the best-selling relationship author of all time and the most trusted voice in relationships today. John’s books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages around the world. He is a leading internationally recognized expert in the fields of communication and relationships. His unique focus is assisting men and women in understanding, respecting and appreciating their differences. John’s advice can be easily used to improve relationships at home and in the workplace.
For more than 35 years, John Gray has conducted public and private seminars for thousands of participants. In his highly acclaimed books, videos and transformational seminars, John entertains and inspires audiences with practical communication techniques. John’s purpose is to create a world where men and women understand, respect, appreciate and ultimately work together.
John Gray is a popular speaker on the national and international lecture circuit and often appears on television and radio programs to discuss his work. John Gray lives with his wife and children in Northern California.
For more information about John and to receive a special gift, please visit: www.marsvenus.com.
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Oh this is so great and an important topic. Since technology and teaching social media is a big part of my business – it is a big part of my life! I find that overall it has enhanced relationships. For example my own Mom and I communicate far more via email and text and Facebook than if we only had the phone. Even though they are in quick bytes, it helps us stay connected. Then when we do get together in person or by phone we get to catch up on the deeper conversations. It has also allowed me to meet so many more people than I would have ever been exposed to otherwise. I think – and I train on this – the key is to meet the people and then take it OFFline whenever you can – still make phone calls, meet for coffee, have private conversations. As for the bedroom, well let me just say your last line was great advice. 🙂 Thanks for your insight and for sharing your wisdom with our community John!
Hi John,
What a fabulous post! Interesting isn’t it that as we become more connected, we actually become more dis-connected.
Humans are complex beings, and adding bandwidth between us, as you point out, merely serves to complicate matters and lead to a great chance of things being misconstued and taken the wrong way.
You’re highlighted a fabulous point and it is a timely reminder to us all – thanks so much!
Wendy
Thanks John. Great insight!
Hello from Montana,
You and I met while filming Keeper of the Keys. I will also be seeing you at the Isagenix conference this year.
Small, small world.
Keep up your important work,
Blessings, Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke
“A Wise Woman With a Global Message”